Last night, I continued to wrestle with indecision regarding my CMS: Jekyll static or Wordpress. I want 2023 to be different—maybe even in a "Think Different" year, if I may borrow from that old, Apple slogan. I don't want to sit at the end review of 2023 and do another, "Well, not a whole lot happened." Sometimes we get bogged down by the minutia—I'm totally for the minutia as it relates to critical cogs of the overall vision. But, in of themselves? Hardly.

Instead of mapping out 2023, I spent the evening weighing in on the gains and losses betwixt two web platforms. There I was again, ol' Buridan's donkey. This was my mindset, "We're not quite into 2023, I can make a last-minute change to the NYE Resolutions proposals, can't I?"

This should not be so. Instead of hitting the trail for a great exploration, I spend my time comparing and contrasting a pair of bulky hiking boots versus my Xero hiking sandals.

Why do I say all of that? Sometimes there's more than and sometimes, like this bit from The Office, "It was actually just cookies the whole time."

Robert: Kevin, you've been quiet. I'm curious to know what your game-changer is.
Kevin: Well, you know how in the vending machine they have the chocolate chip cookies in the A-1 spot? They do that 'cause they think A-1's the best spot for the best cookie. But the real best spot is D-4. Right? That's where the eyes go. So...
Robert: Cookies. Cookie placement.
Kevin: Yeah. But not just the cookies, though. That was just a 'for instance.'
Robert: Who else agrees with Kevin, that we're wasting facilities, manpower, on our underselling products when we should be pushing our top-performers? [slowly everyone raises their hand; Robert laughs] There you go. Consensus.

At the end of the day, I love Jekyll's rendering of HTML. It's secure and fast, two things you want every website to be. And if I ever cared to go back to Github hosting, my website would only cost its yearly domain renewal. But, I'm completely satisifed with NearlyFreeSpeech as I'm approaching my 7th year with them for just this domain: Created Date: Thu, 06 Apr 2017 12:46:04 AM CDT.

And as far as Wordpress goes, for whatever it's worth, I don't have any of my content beyond my mid-2000s migration from Moveable Type to Wordpress. And the only reason I have stuff from 2018 is that I had to convert each post by hand to a text file and swirl about my Markdown wand.

Do I want to spend every day running Visual Studio Code? I do! Long have I recognized that I'll never again:

• Provide desktop support;
• Maintain servers and manage users;
• Resolve printer and copier problems;
• Mitigate network issues;
• Troubleshoot point-of-service systems;
• Create internal/external docs;
• Rotate backups;
• Pet the user's head, toss out doggie treats like candy and say, "You're a good boy, yes you are."

No, all of that is in my life's past—vocationally. The thing is, I've never changed. I do what I do because that's how God built me. And I suspect He has something in that vein post-glorification for me to work on. Again, we know Adam kept the garden. What will be my garden? If I find it is an endless amount of mundane helpdesk requests (*sigh*), then I CLEARLY made a wrong turn somewhere in my mortal life! And for those who do not love Jesus, I suspect it'll be a life worst than an endless array of BSOD's, malware, crashed hard drives and users with scowling faces as they bring their own rogue software & hardware on to the network, for Hell is the place of no love, eternal misery and distress. I think I worked there once as the IT manager with no subordinates.

And I'm not saying I'm built for information systems, if there was ever such a thing. Rather, I am for whatever involves the process. Even at 44, I am no closer to understanding what I am to "be" wandering the "they're good people" wares at the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid than where I was at 23 after college graduation at the Tomb of Doom Pyramid. And like then, all I really know is to do is trust Him, for when I stray and puff my chest, I fail and fall. Thus...

I'll get up, go to my father, and say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired hands.' So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.'

But the father told his slaves, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let's celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!' So they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:18-24, HCSB

(A fattened calf is not lost on me!)

Another day, another post. Unlike the past, my intent isn't to hit that post-a-day mark—I've asked myself time and again, why do I write? What is my intent? Why do I confront this blinking cursor, time and time again? It's no different today than it was twenty years ago in 2002...yes, so much has changed in that span—but, have they? Yes, I have many lines penned in this diary of mine, but has anything truly changed?

And...I don't know why I write. I mean, I look out there and browse sites across the Internet and wade through Twitter and I know I don't want to be like any of them. I don't want to shadowbox...or monetize things...

I think about shutting this thing down, just flip the circuit breaker and walk out, but then—I know this sounds silly—but, if I power things down, it's like it never happened. A diary captures the thoughts of that moment. Yes, I have the memories, but could I ever express all of those emotions that I once did?

And does my audience really want to know that I'm currently wearing my Captain Kirk crew socks from Dollar Tree while being enamored by the selection of Astral Chill by Virtual Mage. Most of life is seemingly crew socks...and yes, I prefer my Picard ones with that age-old debate, but I would TOTALLY be aboard for some Sisco ones because I could do EVERYTHING wearing those! Janeway, you ask? Those socks would just get me lost.

(Like that Picard vs. Kirk entanglement, at 19 in an Oral Comm class, I gave a persuasive speech on Sammy Hagar over David Lee Roth. In the age of the CD and the waning cassette, I brought SO MUCH vinyl into class that day!)

In my last post, I referenced the 77s' 1984 Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba, a band I was introduced to by my friend Nic sometime in 2001 or 2002. I just thought they had a cool, resonating vibe, I've never taken a dive into the lyrics of this specific song. When I read its words, I recall how the world thinks this is a new age of identity and a celebration of freedom, far evolved from this song of '84. And yet:

Welcome to the truth custom-made
Come in and have some lemonade
Reality will readjust while we evade
The issues that are pressing us
And getting so depressing, but
Undressing and unstressing makes them go away, yeah
...
The heat will never find us 'cause we've learned to run
No absolutes to spoil our time
So we don't have to change our mind
Just hope that we don't die while we’re still in our prime

Indeed, the Preacher speaks truth:

What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there a thing of which it is said,
"See, this is new"?
It has been already
in the ages before us.

There is no remembrance of former things,
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be
among those who come after.

Ecclesiastes 1:9–11, ESV

Let those words sink in...

And what have I done before and will be done again? Weightloss!

I'm past the half-way mark of The 28th Expedition. I feel slimmer, but I'd be absolutely thunder-floored if I hadn't for these kickoff Expeditions represent a consider water drop when carbs are yanked out of the system:

• 1st Expedition: 40 ½ lb loss
• 4th Expedition: 43 lb loss
• 7th Expedition: 43 lb loss
• 11th Expedition: 40 lb loss
• 13th Expedition: 24 ¼ lb loss

Yes, one of these is not like the other. The 13th was also not about calorie restriction as I went keto and had consistent weight drop for the next year-and-a-half with the emergence of The Carnivore. Curiously, I am now on a "restricted" diet in that I'm counting proteins, but at 75-100 per day, it still exceeds the global average of 68. Fat, however, has its throttle thrown WIDE open, something I celebrate every morning as I ram down 7 tablespoons of grass-fed butter for my 3 cups of coffee.

I look back at that time when I fasted from food in the Czech Republic. I dropped something like 40 lbs in 3 weeks and then gained 20 in a week once I began refeeding. Geez, sign me up to a UFC contract already, I can cut weight! And yes, I didn't have a slow ramp up back to normal eating. I literally just wolfed down some fried lemongrass tofu on that ride back from the airport!

People get too cute with things. I really doubt in the backdrop of scarcity our ancestors slowly sucked on a piece of mastodon meat after the kill. Or a T-rex for that matter. (I liked this writeup Why Don’t We Find Human & Dinosaur Fossils Together?)

As the clock ticks down 2022, I consider again returning to Facebook and connecting with friends...again. It's sad when I think that friends only exist in a virtual space. Just avatars. If I may apply the Goo Goo Dolls here, "Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

And a part of me is fearful of what I may find there. Who now parrots what is said from the cool kids table? And today our society seems to promote such outlandish things; it would break my heart to hear the same from my friends—who are they trying to impress?

I guess I ought to check again, but I still haven't seen that scoreboard in the sky.

That's the thing I really love about the Bible, somebody like Paul says something 2,000 years ago and he might as well be sitting in my living room.

Morality aside, I know music today is AWFUL if artists pushing 80-years-old are filling up arenas! Gosh, that would be an 18-year-old me in '96 rocking out to an Andrew Sisters' gig, a packed house swaying to some Boogie Boogie Bugle Boy or Pistol Packin' Mama! I mean, Mick Jagger is 79; Steven Tyler is 74; and Paul Stanley is 70. Sorry kids, but this is whatcha get with the pretty people.

And may that be the segue to my running through the albums of all these years...

Those questions that were 2004 began to be answered in 2005.  I picked up another salaried job and eloped to Vegas that year.  While my interest in mainstream current music had been circling the drain for several years leading up to 2005, it was that year it drained empty. As 2006 arrived and I found myself in Arizona, I began to explore better music at ages 28 and 29; I listened to a lot of The Cure, The Smiths and as a carryover from my Cornerstone Festival experience in 2004, there was an armload from the Christian indie scene. There were bands like...

...Cool Hand Luke with its moving, Nobody Hugs a Rose:

YouTube Link

...The 77s—I'd put Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba against any of that era:

YouTube Link

...mewithoutYou; their two first albums, are among my favorites across genres as I LOVE their lyrics, including Wolf Am I:

YouTube Link

...if you want the Christian band equivalent of getting into a 70s Trans-Am, try Disciple's Shine Down:

YouTube Link

...then there was Demon Hunter, a band whose "slow/soft" songs I adore, songs like One-Thousand Apologies and this one, The Tide Begins to Ride:

YouTube Link

There were plenty more, Anberlin, Emery, The Wedding, House of Heroes...well, it could go on. I was in Arizona, but never fitting in...I was doing lone wolf tech support at a resort...my sister and her husband began to fade away from me...my Mom was moving on with her life with new suitors. I just thought of Tennessee and the way things should be...

Fitness Update

I continue to be surprised how this VR approach makes for an engaging while challenging workout. On Saturday, my sweatshirt had its back literally soaked with sweat. I did hit in excess of 200 BPM at one point, remarkable as I only have two controllers in my hand! I'm gonna have to dial things down a little; but, hey, it underlines that my will is there!

On my Fitness page, I reference my strategy. I gotta admit that Les Miles segment does wonders! This past week, each day I repeated its Full Body Blast, 25 minute intermediate workout. It's a good grab bag of stuff to do and I was fortunate that each day, I was able to beat the prior day's success. Yesterday, I kicked off something new with the 20-minute Complete Knockout intermediate program followed by an advanced, six-minute routine with Box Flex.

And lastly, I have ended my romance with bacon...sorta. I have moved on to pork belly! OK, so they're related. As I write this in the early hours, I have 4.7 lbs of the stuff cooking via sous vide at 165 for 10 hours. It'll help offset the copious amount of Kerrygold I now ingest!