I've written before how I have hesitated in writing about God and my love for Him because I've felt that so many of my life's actions have been profane; my actions did not reflect loving God and loving my neighbor. I know all too clearly what it is to fall to 1 John 2:16.

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When others might see my expressions of love for Him, I always feared it would dishonor His name. And yes, while today I recognize how ridiculous this mindset is, it's just another attack against our joy, keeping us from living our lives fully (John 10:10).

The thing is, if a man could be perfect, he would fulfill the Law of Moses; he would have eternal life on his own merit. And yet, there has only been one man who fulfilled the Law. As we are not Jesus, why would we ever even think about putting that sort of benchmark on ourselves?

Confession is fundamental to the Christian faith, not out of some place of legalistic burden, rather, our hearts desire organically to restore our relationship with God so that our joy may be made complete (John 15:11, 1 John 1:4).

In fact, to be a Christian is to confess sin!

And that confession does not come from a checkmark of additional forgiveness. It's not a check against losing our salvation for He chose us before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). Rather, when we sin, we lose joy; we CANNOT lose our relationship with God for when we became a Christian, the sacrifice of Jesus covered all of our sins, past, present and future.

Yes, I should have been on that cross for the Bible is clear that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) and if I am guilty of one sin, I am guilty of it all (James 2:10). Why did He reach down to save me as I was dead, bound for Hell? It was for His own name (Psalm 25:11, Psalm 79:9, Psalm 106:8, Psalm 109:21, Jeremiah 14:7, Isaiah 48:9). Why me specifically? I do not know...other than He is my Father. How an infinitely holy God can tolerate those who do evil and hate Him, I cannot understand—how profane it is when we tell the perfect judge that Hell is not fair! R.C. Sproul makes this point in a far better crafted thought:

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No, we don't want things to be fair.

Oh how wonderful is to have Jesus as our advocate (1 John 2:1) while Satan rails against us as our accuser (Revelation 12:10) before the Judge. When God looks at me, He sees His Son. AND EVER SO CLEARLY with all of this, it is for NOTHING I have done—good or bad. I have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to earn it, how can I think I can do something to lose it? TRULY, my salvation is by His grace alone!

And when I do what I do not want to do (Romans 7:15-20), confession wells up from inside of me so that I may restore the joy of my relationship with my Heavenly Dad (Mark 14:36, Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6).

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It occurred to me last night to combine together the above passages by Paul and I AM LOVIN' IT! It is exceedingly encouraging. There have been many moments in my life when I wish I had quick access to this audio as it really underscores how my salvation is such a priceless gift...how do I respond to it?

Earlier, I opened up the wallet to add some awesome resources from the Logos Free Book of the Month and its associated deep discounts. Generally, the free book every month is pretty good, but I began considering this month's specials when I saw how cheap MacArthur's 4-colume Matthew was, a part of an entire NT commentary set I'd like to have someday.

I wound up walking away with the following for $60 after taxes (OR the equivalent of 3 out of 4 volumes of MacArthur's commentary on Matthew at their regular price):

Harris, Archer and Waltke - Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament

Letham - Systematic Theology

Kruger - A Biblical-Theological Introduction to the New Testament: The Gospel Realized

MacArthur, John. The Deity of Christ

MacArthur, John - Matthew, vols. 1-4 (The MacArthur New Testament Commentary)

Morgan and Peterson - Fallen: A Theology of Sin

Owen, John. - Hebrews (Crossway Classic Commentaries)

Sproul, R.C. - The Glory of Christ

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(How my heart sings!)

This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Is it everything you dreamed
That it would be when the world was younger
And you had everything to lose?

—Switchfoot

I gotta admit, Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown album rushes in a flood of memories. It is one of CDs that I once spun from beginning to end ALL the time, ESPECIALLY in 2003 and throughout 2004. It paralleled a lot of my thoughts back then...

I don't think I've changed—I mean, I've lived a life that has insulated itself from that passion. Even good things can make us numb to the better things. Take for example my focus on fitness these past few years—yes, awesome idea, but within scope of the next 10,000 years?

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As I've just crossed the threshold of being a Christian for 33 years, I'm reminded of how also at 33, He was crucified for my sins, was buried and rose out of that grave. Why would I spend another year on self when I'd experience greater joy in dedicating 2022 to Jesus? What good are 6/8 pack abs alone with a meaningless life focused on self? I can thank Linux Mint for this for with that last complete system lockup in LM, I put into action my plans for 2022, a year of less tech and more God:

• Installed Windows on my main system so that I can use the full-blown Logos Bible suite;
• Released a new version of my site with less focus on fitness and instead providing a one-stop shop for encouraging a sanctified life;
• Deleted Tutanota with its custom hosting;
• Took off my watch;
• Deleted my Spotify, Garmin and MapMyRun accounts;
• Working toward going online on Facebook to be a light bearer.

As I look across the events of these dark days, it seems the end times are near at hand; Jesus is coming back soon! How simply...MIND-BLOWING that I'll get to meet Him—He'll hug me, his physical arms will actually wrap around this body of mine in its glorified state. This alone drops my jaw!

And if He does not come tomorrow, I am not promised another day, am I? There was once a last day for my Dad and another for Mom, as it has been for all that have come before them. Would I be misguided in recognizing my day, too, will come like a thief in the night? Shouldn't I live accordingly? Shouldn't I live like I was dying? Why waste my mind on the things the world values?

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

— C.S. Lewis

That's the thing, everything the world offers as fun: sex, booze, money, power—whatever, you name it—it all feels empty to me. The initial thrills are promised in the pursuit but once attained, they are just a lie. Nothing new, of course, and has already been written about in Ecclesiastes 2:1-11.

When I embrace my love of God, I do feel an unmatchless joy, unlike anything else I experience on this Earth. How can I not roll with it?

Finally, I leave my reader with an excerpt from a 1971 sermon by John MacArthur. The thing that I find so wonderfully about my favorite preacher is that it doesn't matter if it's '71, '81, '91, '01, '11, or '21, he is consistent:

Now, even if we talk for a moment about my fellowship with God, I said that my fellowship with God is never broken. My koinōnia is never broken because it's a partnership. Right? But since God is holy – now watch this – since God is holy, sin, then, though it does not eliminate the partnership, destroys the joy of that fellowship. Do you see? That's why John says, “I'm writing to you that your joy may be full.” Sin is deadly to the joy of fellowship.

In fact, when a believer is in sin, what's the one thing he doesn't want to do? He doesn't want to get anywhere near the things of God, does he? Because he becomes so convicted. So, when sin comes in, he just completely loses the joy of communion with God and fellowship. And usually his prayer life goes, his Bible reading goes. He sort of drifts away from Christian – other Christians and their fellowship because he does not want to be confronted with God. Sin is deadly to the joy of fellowship.

You see, if we sin, as believers – and by this I mean the protracted kind of willful sin – if we do that, then we have purposely broken trust with God; we have willfully spurned His love, and though that does not break our fellowship, it destroys the joy of our fellowship.

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We are light. We are sons of the light. We always walk in the light. And we are always in fellowship with God, but sometimes we miss the joy of that fellowship because of sin.

Now, remember, when you sin, it's never a question of love. Does that change His love for you? No. And sin is never a question of salvation. If you lost your salvation every time you sinned, what good would salvation be? And it's never a question of fellowship; that's established. You're God's partner in this communion. Sin is only a question of joy in that fellowship. Sin in my life breaks into the light, and I can have no pure joy in my fellowship with God.