In the past, I would have walked away. I would have made a sweeping motion with my hands and dismissed my weightloss efforts entirely. I'd cannonball into a vat of nachos as the months fell off the calendar. I did that 4 times through The Expeditions. What did I learn? Junk food is the discarded memories of a junkyard.

Yes, the scale was a disappointment; these injuries through The 18th were a disappointment; this swollen left foot with its inability to bear weight is a disappointment! I cannot underscore enough how defeating it is to wake up last night at 1AM with a foot pain that would not subside enough for me to fall asleep again until after 2 ½ hours and a couple of Extra Strength Tylenol.

I refuse to quit: I'm losing weight. I have no idea how I'm going to hit my goal to run in seven 5K's this year when right now I flail after my crutches. I could have ended it here; I didn't have to restart the clock with The 19th. I could have quietly released this website into the ocean depths of the Internet. But, I choose to do it again.

Not even 3 lbs...yes, The 18th netted a 2 ¾ weight loss. While that result makes me disgusted with myself and want to pull the covers over my head, I choose instead to look deep into the fire. What truths can I extract?

I logically understand that my body has prioritized repair over weightloss in these last six-weeks. I get it—each morning my foot sharply reminds me as the dream breaks.

The only bright spot for The 18th is there were moments in all the pain where I didn't use food as an emotional crutch next to my real crutch. Even today, where there's a part of me that thinks a Twinkie might ease the lack of a loss, I know that's NOT what I need.

Yesterday, in a now deleted post, I unveiled the playlist of daily songs that have built the last six weeks. I set it high in the Great Hall of Expeditions, next to the playlists of the past, something to revere for the months and years ahead. Those playlists were a car on the weightloss rollercoaster I rode in 2018, 2019, 2020 and early 2021.

I find that the goal of weightloss is hollow. Don't get me wrong—it is a fundamental piece to achieving enhanced fitness to live a better life, but to what end? While we can mitigate the effects of entropy as we age, we should be sober-minded and not rely on where the world places its confidence. Our end is coming. Our destiny awaits with the infinite for it has been put into our hearts.

I'm frustrated...OK, I might even be down. I mean, I'm NOT knocking the dust off my All-Time Favorite I'm Depressed Album, R.E.M.'s 1992 Automatic for the People, but nevertheless my humanity is showing.

After bracing my heel overnight two days ago, the sharp pain dashed to the front of my foot, more specifically, to the right of my left ankle. For whatever reason, English never came up with a layman's word for this spot—at least not in the manner I've wielded the lexicon. It's just more painful inflammation that keeps me sidelined as each step is a stinging shot of pain leaving me FAR off pace with FitBit. To put it into perspective, my last three days:

• Saturday: 1,415
• Sunday: 2,193
• Monday: 1,295

...and this is in the context where the first week of 2021, I average 14,500 steps/day, a number I was improving to reach my previous 20,000 average.

I can't move and didn't intend to prophesize before my injuries in naming this Expedition: The 18th: Moving in Stereo—it's become the only kind of moving I'm doing! With this lack of movement and daily inflammation that hampers weightloss, I don't expect any sort of fanfare on Thursday's weigh-in. In fact, instead of eye-popping numbers, the best will come of it will be that I haven't gained weight!

Not that workouts lead to weightloss, of course, as I'm reminded of all the intensive workout sessions of The 16th Expedition: 20⚡25 that would have been just a three lb loss if I hadn't shifted to my carnivore diet with nine days lefts to lose four lbs more. Clearly, however, there is a positive relationship to workouts and fitness. For the time being, I'm idling on the couch with a tank full of motivation.