Today is the start of many firsts. Until New Year's Eve, my diet is so simple a caveman DID it. Meat, eggs, and water.

• If it came from a root, it's to boot!
• No salt or No Salt potassium chloride.
• No artificial things cooked up by a guy in a lab coat.
• No dairy.

Just...

Meat.

Eggs.

Water.

I think I got that one in my head. Of course, I've referenced a similar diet, but I had ushered in diet drinks, MCT oil, butter, and caffeine, finding that my weight in November basically remains unchanged, oscillating between 239 and 241, regardless of calorie intake—I don't even track it anymore! Yeah, that reduced calorie hypothesis for weight loss is SO blown out of the water...the math just doesn't work.

So, I'm going to apply something that's basically an elimination diet to figure out why I'm not losing further weight. Perhaps things that taste like sugar jack up the process? Perhaps it's a response to milk? I don't suspect it's caffeine, but once I capture weightloss momentum again, I'll reintroduce coffee or tea. I have been thinking about loose leaf tea, my graduate school through Alaska friend. In my time at Sitka and Anchorage, Upton Tea was a warm companion.

This conservative approach is not for a walk in the park, but the run in a race. Yes, the Christmas season is soon upon us with all the sugar cookies, fudges, eggnogs and candy canes of years' past. However, I'm not training my heart and my body to be Buddy the Elf.

2021 lies ahead.

Lately, everything has been feeling hollow. Why do I tinker with diet optimization? Why do I train? (Admittedly, I LONG to thump that jab out as I continue to be down due to this core injury.) Why do I pull together into words that which runs through my consciousness?

Perhaps, it's this time in the wilderness that makes me re-evaluate design. In a context of being out in the country; years and half-a-world away; and not on social media, I just have the memories of friends—I know, this sounds more despondent than I intend. But, it's like this: I know I have memories that are not mine alone. There are others that share them. But, why does it feel like now they are just mine? I mean, yes, if I was in my 80s-90s, this construct might be valid, but like Vedder sang, "Hey, I, oh I'm still alive!" And it's not much of a leap for me to make that they are thriving as well—I hope! It would be statistically significant if they were not.

2021 awaits. Change is coming.

For all of my talk about gym spaces and running paces, it is all for naught...and maybe that's a commentary beyond my current injury, but speaks to the overall narrative.

Anybody Listening?
by Queensrÿche

You and I Long to live like the wind upon the water.
If we close our eyes, we'll maybe realize
There's more to life than what we have known.
And I can't believe I've spent so long
Living lies I knew were wrong inside;
I've just begun to see the light.

Long ago there was a dream
Had to make a choice or two
Leaving all I loved behind
For what nobody knew.
Stepped out on the stage, a life
Under lights and judging eyes.
Now the applause has died and I
Can dream again.

Is there anybody listening?
Is there anyone that sees what's going on?
Read between the lines
Criticize the words they're selling
Think for yourself and feel the walls
Become sand beneath your feet.

Feel the breeze?
Time's so near you can almost taste the freedom.
There's a warm wind from the south.
Hoist the sail and we'll be gone
By morning this will all seem like a dream.
And if I don't return to sing the song
Maybe just as well,
I've seen the news and there's
Not much I can do...alone.

Is there anybody listening?
Is there anyone who smiles without a mask?
What's behind the words-images
They know will please us?
I'll take what's real. Bring up the lights.

Is there anybody listening?
Is there anyone that sees what's going on?
Read between the lines
Criticize the words they're selling
Think for yourself and feel the walls
Become sand beneath your feet.

Close your eyes.