I've been grappling with whether I should gnaw on meat like a wild beast of a man out of the forest or continuely to politely push soybeans high up in the ivory towers.

That primal roar you hear deep into the wilds is my own, reconnecting with my savage ancestry. OK, I might be leaning toward hyperbole—I'm just at the borderlands of the foreign forest!

Colorful metaphor aside, I've fought against my body for far too long. The day of calorie reduction combined with exercise for weightloss is over. While well-intentioned, a semi-starvation approach was a fundamentally flawed solution. It's not that I didn't give it the best of go's. On the rollercoaster up and down the scale since New Year's Eve 2017, I went from 331 to 208. Nevertheless, I kicked off the 13th Expedition at 292. Why? Did I have the full intention to gain 84 lbs of weight in an orgy of McDonald's, doughnuts, and Coca-Cola?

OR, did my body behave as it did before for the leaner times of my ancestors, restocking the shelves when calories became abundant again, in essence, the gifts of a slower and slower metabolism? I don't know if I can be faulted for my failure to fight against my body, especially in the context of carbs and its relationship with insulin. Sure, there have been times I didn't eat ANYTHING for a month with the exception of ice cubes. And of course there were the successful Expeditions of 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 11 when I worked out for hours everyday in a context of 1000-1200 daily calorie intake. Sure, in the short term, I can drop the weight. But, the body is gonna have its homeostasis and that's what I'm back in the familiar territory of 292 (10/8/18: 288 before a 70 lb drop; 7/9/19: 293 before an 85 lb drop). Sure, I can drop 70-90 pounds in the short term again, but I KNOW what will happen in the months thereafter.

Yes, I'm back in an Expedition and I'm back in my pursuit of substantial weightloss. It's just in a context of unrestricted calories; when I'm hungry, I eat. I no longer fight with my body. However, I don't eat sugar. I avoid carbs within reason (yes, there are carbs in eggs and cheese, so I warrant their existence).

Maybe for most, going with a well-balanced diet with calorie restriction and exercise is the way to go. For me, I've done that; it doesn't work. Exercise makes me hungry and my body brings me back to the norm that was established by my body's response to carbs.

I'm doing something different—I'm going my own way out into the night!

FINALLY. I have left all of the restarts of 2020 behind: I am on a diet that works. And it's from an unlikely approach for me, as a vegan/vegetarian dieter: I'm now fully on board with meat. While I can will myself on a nutrient dense diet that hovers around 1000, the early going satiety is just not there. And thing about a dietary transition is that it's gotta stick. It typically doesn't stay if I'm not satisfied. I made a fundamental shift after listening to the following audiobooks by Gary Taubes:

• Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It (2010)
• Good Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and the Controversial Science of Diet and Health (2011)
• The Case Against Sugar (2016)

While adopting a low carb diet is nothing new, I never considered the perils of insulin resistance, specifically how carbs jack us up. Its omission just worked. I kind of stumbled down the scale, happily repeating the calories in – calories out mantra.

While still in development, my current diet adopts a greater ketogenic focus with a fat ratio of 70% of calories and a NET carbs at 5%. While I may include fiber down the road to this tally, I just don't see it as representative at this time. While, I hit the RDAs without supplements, I'm wavering as to if that will be a continued focus as I wonder how much RDA is required for a carb laden approach.

I gotta admit, my breakfast of 2 tbsp of butter with my cheesy omelet...it's a far ride away from what I've done.

Let's ride throughout the night into 2021!

The 13th start has been...unlucky? I'd reject this tired cliche if I haven't worn it time and again—even after my failed re-branding of a Milestone system. No, I'm GOTTA go back with my Expeditionary paradigm; it has been with me since that New Year's Eve 2017. And while I once was a stone throw of that 200 lb floor, I now find myself...ready for a new adventure!

Look, I wish I had kept my past success instead of letting it slip through my fingers. I never developed a system that didn't a transitional element—it was always that blaze across the sky kind of an approach. I still want that kind of firepower, but I don't want that approaching 0 Icarus kind of flight.

As I wrote last, in these last 200 days of 2020, I want something special out of it. Sure, I want weightloss-turned-fitness goals to be met/exceeded et al and the Expeditionary system is just that; but, I want more, of course, but that's to be revealed further down the Gantt chart.

Come aboard...it's time to set sail!