Yesterday was the day that I was alone
Now I'm in the presence of Almighty God

And yes our God, He is a consuming fire
And the flames burn down deep in my soul
Yes, our God, He is a consuming fire
He reaches inside and He melts down this cold heart of stone

Another morning, another cardio session. This week, I've been foregoing my typical, hour of cardio followed by a 40-min resistance with a cardio closeout. I relished my morning soymilk blend, it's thickness built on flax seed and sunflower seeds with a touch of sweetness from the cinnamon and a slight tang from a very much needed addition of potassium chloride.

It was another morning when I seriously considered extending my quiet time an additional hour into my cardio. I would reap so much from it—and we're talking about an eternal context! Again, however, I chose to once again apply my 4AM for workout. I felt like maybe I can use another part of the day for my reading...well, so forth and so forth.

I'm at a bit of a crossroads. As much as I've been enjoying my training and getting healthy, I've been desiring more to wade into the deeper waters. Admittedly, I covet those who have the opportunity to go to seminary. It's not so much that I'm interested in a leadership role; rather, I just want to know more, use the information and create something of my own handiwork...metaphorically or even literally, though I have no idea as to what context.

I've had a desire to learn Koine Greek, that is, Greek from the time of when the New Testament was written. I've scratched the surface of teaching myself, but without setting up a daily schedule, very much like what I do with my workouts, I'm not going to learn it. I would find much value in reading the New Testament in its original language. I love my ESV of course, and for now, I should make the time to read more of what I do have access.

But, this is what The Third Expedition has been all about. It's more than just cutting the calories and working out so as to drop weight. There is a spiritual significance...one that is just as much as a challenge and systematic as my physical program.

I have such a narrow window for physical fitness for aesthetics. But, the pursuit of God has application for the next several decades...centuries...millennia...ok, for all of time.

I don't know where I read it or heard it from John Piper (I think), but our deepest longings, those golden moments of the past, whether times in high school or college or those fun and free twentysomething age, is but a dim analogy for what we really long for...and that is our time in the presence of God. That's my chief desire. And as it relates to Jesus' Second Coming, I have no idea when that will happen. It could happen this afternoon; it could happen 500 years from now. But for certain, my death is coming...not some uncertain 1000 years from now, but if I'm like my mother and father, I've got just about 25 years left...and that's not even promised to me. As much as health and physical fitness are wonderful pursuits, within the scope of the eternal where my body will be resurrected anew into something that's gonna be awesome blossom, it is that much more important to develop my soul, to work through my sanctification.

Instead of breaking out in song with this one, just read it as a poem:

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eyes shall close in death,
When I rise to worlds unknown,
And behold Thee on Thy throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

At age 23, Toplady wrote this hymn five years after becoming a Calvinist from Arminianism. While I was on my own spiritual journey at 23 in 2001, I can't say I had yet actualized the depths of the knowledge regarding the sovereignty of God as seems apparent in this piece. I was stubborn; I specifically remember knowing that we were dead in our trespasses—how did I reconcile the fact that dead men can't obey? CAN'T RESPOND—DEAD. There's no possibility of choosing Jesus anymore than it is possible for a man in his casket to climb out and leave his funeral to catch a Patriots game! And honestly, it's not like we're in a neutral position: without the Holy Spirit's regeneration of our soul, we actually are hostile toward God:

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Who knows how many times, I read this:

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Or check this out:

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Anyway, I think you get the point I'm trying to make, even if like me, it would take you decades to get there. To some extent, it has to do with exposure. I never even heard of the Doctrines of Grace until I was 23-years-old and went to a theology-driven Bible study taught by a seminary student. I still remember where I was sitting on a couch in a house on Kearney Ave in Memphis, a teaching easel of paper in front of me. I bristled against it as the initial shock like a punch in the face dissipated. Today, I'm grateful that it was revealed to me, though I wish I was around teachers who could have taught it to me sooner. Maybe I would have incurred far less growing pains!

Another 4-6AM of training....though this time, it was pure cardio as I watched a UFC on DVD. It went fast and I moved quick, though toward the end, my tank was running dry. The last couple of sessions have exhibited that behavior. While I would like to credit as some sort of breakthrough on my part, I think it is more likely the cup of coffee I drank to start my Bible study hour before my time in the gym.

I really love that time with God. It goes by far too fast. I'm unable to put everything I want into it...I want to put much more meditation into it—all I do now is read, an exercise of the mind, but not in a manner that assuages my heart! Of course, it's a new exercise for me for 2018 and it'll take time to work into place. What I go through is powerful. Beeke's Living for God's Glory: An Introduction to Calvinism is coming to an end and it's been insightful. The following is an excerpt addressing the contrasts between the believer and the world, though must of it is a quotation within the text. And while its pastoral application is inapplicable for my purposes, I find the dissimilarities particularly beneficial coupled with verse references for meditation:

...preaching must distinctly "trace the line of demarcation between the Church and the world," he says. Ministers must bear in mind that there are fundamentally two kinds of hearers before them—the saved and the unsaved. Bridges stresses the biblical support for this division:

They are described by their state before God, as righteous or wicked (Prov. 14:32; Mal. 3:18)—by their knowledge or ignorance of the Gospel, as spiritual or natural men (1 Cor. 2:14–15)—by their special regard to Christ, as believers or unbelievers (Mark 16:16; John 3:18, 36)—by their interest in the Spirit of God, "being in the Spirit, or having not the Spirit of Christ" (Rom. 8:9)—by their habits of life, "walking after and minding, the things of the Spirit, or the things of the flesh" (Rom. 8:1, 5)—by their respective rules of conduct, the word of God, or "the course of this world" (Ps. 119:105; Eph. 2:2)—by the Masters whom they respectively obey, the servants of God, or the servants of Satan (Rom. 6:16)—by the road in which they travel, the narrow way or the broad road (Matt. 7:13–14)—by the ends to which their roads are carrying them, life or death—heaven or hell (Rom. 8:13; Matt. 25:46).

I'm unsure as what to do about my lack of time of that 3AM—who knew an hour could be so scant! I've experimented with taking away that first hour of cardio, but I like to have two-hour workouts. And the evening's "procrastination" tends to have characteristics that lead to failure. Of course, the day is more than the morning, but the morning tends to forge the will forward.