It is definitely a gray day. Though it's May 21st, the weather outside looks very like a Memphis November, a bit of a chill in the air, with an unfriendly breeze and skies of gray. My spirit is a bit down, despite my move in two days– actually I'm hoping the move will hurl my spirit high.

I find myself frustrated and the frustration is influencing me to make bad choices. It began a few days ago when someone, with whom I felt a mild interest towards, turned me down. I'm beginning to believe that if I ever date again, it'll be someone I don't know now. Last week, U of M's rec center was closed for maintenance which blew my routine off its tracks thereby disabling the strides I was making toward personal fitness. I am taking a pummeling on my credit cards due to the associated costs of moving. I was $400 away from being debt free and seeing the light and now it appears I being flung back into the dark depths again. I need to sit down and do a damage analyst and see what impending hits remain. These three theaters have really added to the gray I see out the windows at work.

I'm finding myself missing Lisa a good bit and though I would love to contact her, but, as noted in an earlier blog, I swore to her that I would not do so. She can reach out to me if she needs me. It's a little rough and actually the past few weekends I've been working on a poem about it, though I find the words difficult to pen.

There are some days in which I would really love to run off down I-40 towards West Virginia. I keep catching myself looking longingly toward the northeastern horizon. Love is a funny thing, and its not the stuff of storybooks– not for me anyway.

As I write this blog, I am in the middle of a wireless nic issue for an old, 233 Mhz Dell notebook that is running Win98. I'm in my second day of working on it and despite of the counsel I have received from others, it continues to remain resolved. Though who knows, perhaps as I type this, the issue is being resolved.

I like the concept of wireless networking, and it will be an environment that I will be in at my new place, but the setup that we currently have at U of M sure provices its share of headaches for a Win98 client– and I'm not even a user! Though seemingly, even with the knowledge/experience I still wind up at the same place, just faster.

As it is, maintaining Orinoco as a standard apparently prohibits other wireless nics from being involved which seems like a foolhardy decision on someone's part. But alas... the world we live in is not the world of Bill... argh, my last rendition of getting this to work just failed... bah! There goes enough half hour of my life lost without anything of value becoming of it.

More later.

Within this era of my life, I have a 4.0 in my endeavors within the halls of academia. So perhaps it's just an A in General Psychology II– and a freshman-level class at that– but it does seem to indicate a promising voyage ahead of me in this post-undergrad season. The degree of difficulty will be sharply raised this summer with the aforementioned-mentioned, two 3000 level classes from the Psychology and English departments.

I learned a little something I wish I had known when I was an undergrad at U of M. If one is to set his classification as a "non-degree seeking" student, he is not required to be advised. I wish I had known those years ago. I always felt that most of my "advisors" knew very little about real "advising" and the entire system had infuriated me since it was inefficient administrative-laden process that was forced upon me.

I had the "opportunity" to shell out $400 this past weekend to throw a new set of tires on my truck. It's not the type of expense that I typically want to incur but the prospect of having a blowout at high speeds swayed me to make the investment. There's some sort of twisted irony with this reasoning in that I bought the tires from Firestone.

Good news: my sister and brother-in-law are going to donate their couches along with their kitchen table for my upcoming move, although the prospect of having PVC furniture did intrigue me. But I feel as though this is one of those fascinations that should not to be played out in reality. I still have some other considerations in how I may employ the use of PVC in an aesthetic setting. Upon other matters, yet somewhat related, I am looking forward to setting up a room to work on pieces of art. I wish I did not pull away from this segment of my life.