It has been much too long since I have taken the time to write a blog. The new year along with the new job have kept me busy with other matters and there are many times in which I do not know if I can write with the caliber of thought that I will typically expend in a blog. Yet, the Winter shall soon turn to Spring and I do not want to neglect these moments of my life.

It is great to be back at the alma mater as a staff member. During my 5 1/4 years as a student at U of M, I spied upon the staff/faculty hangtags within cars thinking I'll never have one of those. Granted, there is so much more that I can divulge about the job, yet, I'm impressed with my hangtag. Simple? I think so. I'm paying for a spot in the new garage that I tested the concrete for back in '98.

Throughout my time as a student, I always said that one day I would get a spot in the garage... ahh, the bliss. It is a very satisfying transition to go from being an hourly employee to salary. It feels as though I've now graduated from college. It only took a year and a half longer than I expected.

More thoughts to follow.

I'm doing ok for myself. Today, I threw several hundred bucks in my check account and have over a hundred in my wallet. True, in a matter of a couple weeks I'll find myself squirreling around for change and I'll have single digits in my bank account, but as of today, I gotta admit, I'm sitting pretty. It's a good place to be. I'm no closer to running off out West in a VW van, but events as such should go largely unplanned.

Jeremy gave me some really good news today. Of course, I am not one who spends time counting his chickens before they run around with their heads cut off, but I should find myself in an IT position that will give me more financial freedom, a great benefits package (including PT tuition), job security, and career enhancement. Out of the 75 applicants that filtered through the initial HR screening (I suppose the total count could be doubled that of who passed), I was chosen among 5 candidates that were interviewed for a position supporting the 70 computer labs on U of M's campus. Due in large part because of Jeremy's recommendation, after the interview my name was given to HR to be hired. There are some administrative checks that must be completed before its final, but it is seemingly enough coming together quite nicely. But, I am making sure I keep the "worst case scenario" mindset at the forefront of my thoughts.

It is hard not to feel giddy. I suppose another perspective I should take is enjoy the time where I'm at and let tomorrow be tomorrow instead of today. Once again, balance is the key. Enjoy the freedom, but do not overextend and get beat.

Yet, I am not looking forward to giving in my two weeks notice to Craig, my boss at Germantown Baptist. He has been a really great boss. I hate leaving all of the IT Support on his shoulders again since it is just the two of us. The environment at GBC has been good with respect to both systems and people.

GBC did have the opportunity to give me full time status back in September, but three and a half months later there has been nothing. Due to budget constraints, apparently it was decided that GBC does not desire to meet the benefits required by state law. Craig did campaign for my cause, but the building annexation has a throat hold upon the resources of the church and I am too expensive. Without the full time status upgrade, it has been just a matter of time before I would find employment elsewhere and seemingly enough the time has arrived.

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
...
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

-Bon Jovi

How many times does one not engage life and instead, not only does he allow it but is a suitor of the enslavement of arduous times? One may say in soliloquy, "it's too hard" or "I'm not good enough". For whatever reason, one chooses the easier way out and receives his allotted serving of unrecognizable slop from life's apathetic lunch lady.

Is there anything that is sadder than hope deferred? Even with the crushing of hopes, at least there is resolution in the matter, as opposed to placing dreams on the shelf even though one can still choose his heart's desires. Instead, he chooses to be enslaved by the idea that his hopes' fulfillment is too hard to gain.

I feel the winds of change gently push against my brow. It is beneficial to stop from one's bustle, take a look at what surrounds, and file away that one point in time. For soon, life will change. As some leave, others will take their place. The days we are upon will soon be those of golden days of yesteryear. The key is not to let one's hopes be that which is held so tenderly in the past.

I am within a shadowy season of my life in which all exists within a haze. What roads shall I choose within the realms of employment, living, and relationships? I do know that much of life is temporary. My heart yearns for another time and place. In this pursuit, I have taken away overextended feelings towards those who did not deserve such focus for they shall soon fade away into life's haze.