Inflamed: "How Terribly Strange to Be Seventy"

Thursday, July 20, 2023

After 237 days, that High Fat Carnivore Streak is over. It was time. Oh, don't get me wrong: carnivore remains what we should eat as a species. For the past handful of days, I tried to do what everyone else does. How did my body react? Inflammation. My right foot injury from the move back in March returned. My knee injury from August blew in with a winter storm of its freeze-up, shocking shards of anguish. Even my nose got stuffy! I feel miserable, the weight piled up and I just feel lethargic. I lost that "I can take on the world with one-arm" feeling and felt very much...old. Icarus fell. "So THIS is how the other side lives."

You can count me out on that.

I'd eat carnivore even if I did not lose a single more pound. It just makes me feel good.

This time also marks a threshold: it is the end of the Expeditions. I am no longer Running Up That Hill in a race down the scale. Oh, I still have my weightloss targets, but my thoughts at 39 are no longer the same at 45. My objectives have changed...maybe they never were.

The Expeditions served me well. I learned how successful weightloss works; I learned how easily one can fail. Many memories came from these Expeditions, I'll forever remember that Stranger Things summer in '19, even if I lost that year's entire set of diary entries. Who couldn't have loved The Lost 7th Expedition with its new wave ties into retrowave?

All of this stems from my last post, when I had AI summarize my longest diaries of each year. While I felt I wrote a LOT about fitness, it just is not a theme on the things that I wrote the most. The focus on fitness is a waste of resources.

On that day, I brainstormed: "What’s the Point of It All?" This is the curse of my life. I remember when I hit my lowest weight in 24 years; I felt no different than I had at my heaviest weight in 2017. I just had different hobbies. And my hobbies at 336 lb are of greater interest to me today than running in a park.

There is a disconnect there; why do I spend an exorbitant amount of time on physical fitness? It is not my chief end. It is not even a passion of mine. I would just say that it is a worthy analog.

I continue to shape Destination '23, my New Year's resolutions. Of note, it is not plural. As opposed to New Year's Fervid Tasks, I want to view it as to where I want to go. And the thing about travel is how it changes us.

So, it cannot be plural. We don't see it as singular things. The next step is to imagine how everything works together, how that collection of tasks invests toward the person we will be down the road.

And as we evolve, I suppose we don't recognize the change, that when we're down the road, we forget we are that person down the road. It's always the next waymarker for us. From our perspective, we always just see ourselves as Present Me with some faraway place marked off on a map.

And I suppose the whole construct is inherently flawed. It is a bit mindless, isn't it? Again, it is New Year's Fervid Tasks

Why do I write in this thing? I suppose that's my reply to that everpresent prompt, that blinking, ever-unblinking cursor. I nearly punted the whole thing—I did for a few days. But, there is value, even if that remains veiled.

Summaries: "All Your Dreams Are on Their Way, See How They Shine"

Saturday, July 15, 2023

The Power of AI

I am starting to view ChatGPT as my writing buddy. Oh, it won't run off with my voice. And I've got Grammarly to remind me to watch for Grammar's speed traps. I find that ChatGPT is handy for me to paste a long article so that it may summarize it for me and also be able to answer any further questions I might have. That's just sci-fi stuff to me!

I decided to go through my LONGEST posts for each year with this prompt: "Write a succinct summary."

2023: The Christian Homeschooling Dad vs. the 'I'm a Man, I'm 40!' Culture

The article discusses the challenges faced by a Christian homeschooling father in the American South who chooses to stay at home while his wife works. The father is confronted with cultural expectations and questions about his masculinity and leadership. He reflects on his personal growth as a man and challenges the notion that leadership is solely tied to making money. The article emphasizes the importance of serving and loving God and others over pursuing wealth and societal definitions of success. The father finds peace in his decision to homeschool his children and prioritizes their education and spiritual growth over traditional career pursuits.

2022: The Ugly Mug and the (Bacon) Gate

The author discusses their transition from using various website platforms to settling on a static setup. They share their experience installing Jekyll on their MacBook and reflect on their past memories associated with a specific album. The article ends with nostalgic thoughts about a coffee shop called Ugly Mug and its significance in their life.

2021: Joy...And Wonders of His Love

The author reflects on a Bible verse from Zephaniah that emphasizes God's joy and love for His people. The article delves into the author's excitement about the prospect of eternal life, meeting biblical figures, and exploring the restored and glorious universe. They express gratitude for God's grace and redemption, acknowledging their sinfulness and dependence on God's infinite mercy. The article ends with a question about what an infinite being like God would sing.

2020: Blade Runner - End Titles

The text reflects on the author's thoughts and experiences with the evolution of the internet from the early days of limited connectivity to the highly centralized and data-driven platform of the present. It contemplates the profound impact of the internet on personal identity and questions whether individuals have become mere data points within the system. The author wonders if technology has enriched lives or led to a sense of emptiness. Throughout the text, various cultural and literary references are used to illustrate the internet's increasing influence on daily activities and decision-making. The author also contemplates the potential future of virtual avatars and their ability to replace human interactions and preferences. Overall, the text encourages contemplation about the role and consequences of the internet in modern society.

2018: My Conversion Story

The text is a personal conversion story, narrating the author's journey from a religious upbringing in the Church of Christ with works-based theology to embracing the doctrines of grace and a deeper relationship with God. The author reflects on their college years of spiritual confusion and partying, followed by a transformative experience at a Christian coffeehouse. This encounter led to a period of significant growth, involvement in church activities, and a sense of purpose. Despite occasional struggles and setbacks, the author finds freedom and joy in their faith, no longer doubting their salvation but relying on God's grace and imputed righteousness through faith in Christ.

2017: Someday, I'll Be Saturday Night

The text explores the question of "what should I do with my life?" and reflects on the author's journey of seeking purpose and fulfillment. The author emphasizes the importance of sanctification, the process of becoming holy and set apart, as the ultimate goal in life. They highlight the need for personal effort and active engagement in this process, seeking to put away earthly desires and aligning their minds with heavenly things. The text draws insights from biblical passages, emphasizing the pursuit of holiness and a life guided by love, compassion, and gratitude.

2013: The Gambler

The author reflects on their recent academic journey, pursuing degrees and certifications in teaching and linguistics. They had ambitious dreams of making a difference through research but realized that the academic path might not fulfill their family's needs. Despite the uncertainty, they decided to take a risk and venture into the unknown.

2004: The Fruit of Fasting

The author reflects on their journey of personal growth and self-discovery. They talk about their experience with fasting, setting ambitious goals, and embarking on a significant European journey. They also mention their pursuit of a focused life by removing distractions and embracing new challenges, including cooking. Overall, the author is optimistic and excited about the future.

2003: The Catalyst

The narrator reflects on their experiences at a Christian conference called "The Catalyst." They share their struggle with the concept of success and happiness, realizing that worldly achievements don't bring true fulfillment. The conference features various speakers who inspire and challenge the attendees. The narrator opens up about their personal struggles with leadership and self-doubt but eventually feels a sense of clarity and purpose. They also encounter challenging situations and show love and compassion to others. The conference concludes with a time of worship and reflection.

2002: Bill's 1500+ Mile Weekend

Bill embarks on a 1500+ mile journey to reconnect with his past love, Lisa, after feeling a renewed desire for her. The emotional trip takes him through memories of their time together and moments of introspection. Despite facing challenges and the realization that their paths have diverged, the journey brings closure and a new era in Bill's life.

The Wrapup and What It Implicates

What do I write about on this site? According to ChatGPT's succinctly summarizing its summaries of my words, it is this:

The collection of articles spans various years and themes. It includes reflections on personal growth, challenges, and decisions, embracing faith, seeking purpose, and questioning societal expectations. The narratives cover topics such as homeschooling, website setup, God's love, the internet's impact, conversion experiences, academic pursuits, fasting, Christian conferences, and emotional journeys of closure and new beginnings. Each article provides unique insights into the authors' lives and journeys, emphasizing faith, self-discovery, and the pursuit of meaning and fulfillment.

Isn't it curious there's nary a fitness reference? What is my passion?

I gave one last prompt: "List three male characters from all of cinema that would best be described by this summary."

Frodo Baggins from "The Lord of the Rings" Trilogy - Frodo's journey spans across various years and themes, as he faces personal growth, challenges, and life-altering decisions while carrying the burden of the One Ring. He often questions societal expectations and grapples with his purpose in the face of great evil. Frodo's story involves moments of faith, self-discovery, and seeking fulfillment as he embarks on a quest that will shape the fate of Middle-earth.

Chris Gardner from "The Pursuit of Happyness" (2006) - Based on a true story, Chris Gardner's life is a testament to personal growth, overcoming challenges, and making difficult decisions. He embraces faith in himself and in his dream of becoming a stockbroker. Despite facing homelessness and financial struggles, Chris persists in seeking purpose and a better life for himself and his son. His journey reflects themes of self-discovery, the pursuit of meaning, and finding fulfillment in the face of adversity.

Will Hunting from "Good Will Hunting" (1997) - Will's story revolves around personal growth and emotional challenges as he grapples with his troubled past and complex identity. He questions societal expectations and struggles to find his purpose and place in the world. Through therapy and self-exploration, Will starts to embrace faith in himself and his abilities. His journey involves seeking meaning and fulfillment beyond his troubled upbringing, reflecting themes of self-discovery and finding purpose in life.

For exta credit, I had it run through television characters:

Don Draper from "Mad Men": Don Draper's journey in the advertising world is an exploration of personal growth, challenges, and decisions. Throughout the show, he questions societal expectations and norms, striving to find meaning and fulfillment in his career and personal life. Don's introspective moments and emotional journeys align with the themes of self-discovery and the pursuit of purpose and meaning found in the collection of articles.

The Geek in Me: "So We Bought a Pack of Cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner Pies"

Friday, July 14, 2023

It continues to amuse me that I keep changing the web design of this site and no one can tell. Yesterday, I changed the <mark> tag that features a color similar to a Sharpie highlighter, added transparency and an ever slight gradient coming off to mimic a pen. Before that, I switched out the whites, off-whites and semi-blacks for good ol' #000000 and #ffffff.

Yep, good 'ol plain black and white.

I then went back and used HEX transparency to emulate the colors of the prior palette. This whole setup allows me the option to make to mark a special day with a tint and not change the feel. Outside of a Google Chart's line that's hardcoded, my entire site is just this:

--text: #000000b8;
--light: #0000001a;
--neutral: #00000033;
--canvas:  #ffffffe6;
--accent: #b70d00cc;
--highlighter: #edfe5fb3;

Life is shades.

I've been trying to get ChatGPT to generate Javascript code for a self-contained embed of fireworks with text with a retrowave gradient sky, but the best I've got was just a perplexing series of overlapping triangles. Just because, you know? But, our cybernetic overlords still have a little work to do.

That said, I do find this Johnny Cash AI cover of Barbie Girl, Spice Girls and more in the sound of Folsom Prison Blues to be OUTSTANDING. The critical thing is to not just emulate the audio but to create something wholly different.

...and yet, while the following fail that criteria, I do like these simple AI covers of Taylor Swift of Blinding Lights and (the just tad low) Fast Car.

Sometimes, I just like human cleverness. There's an oddball corner of my brain where this mashup plays prominently on the DJ set list:

YouTube Link

Has AI been around longer, maybe like since at least October 2009? This beloved scene totally comes off as an AI creation: